One Step, Two Step

Two weeks ago I wrote a post about Peyton's refusal to walk. Well later that afternoon she finally took her first steps. We have been having so much fun with her, that I haven't had time to update everyone on this sooner. I love walking with Peyton, she is still a 50/50 walker/crawler. Everyday though she walks a little more and crawling a little less.

Being a true girly girl that I am my favorite part of this past couple weeks was taking Peyton shopping for her first pair of runners. We decided to go with a classic pair of chucks for Pea. She LOVES them, she wants to wear them all the time. She gets upset when its time to nap, and the shoes have to stay off.

Thank you for all the walking wishes you sent our way. They worked really fast and we couldn't be more pleased and excited to be chasing Peyton everywhere!

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My Worth

I read this post the other day from I Rock So What and the idea behind her own post has been on my mind for months. Knowing your worth is tough. You don't want to under sell yourself, but you don't also want to forget those who encouraged and nurtured your talent in the beginning. I really hope that I won't affend anyone with this post. This post is being written with my heart, and I hope it comes across as sweet as it is sounding in my mind.

When I first started my journey into professional photography I did quite a bit of sessions for free or very, very cheap. I was greatful for all those that took a chance on me being that I was brand new to the industry. But I will admit there was a lot of the time I got the grumples when I broke down how much I was actually making when I calculated in my actual amount of time I was working on the images after the session.

Now I am fully aware that I am not at the level of the photographers who I have come to admire. But I can feel that I have become more knowledeable in things like lighting, posing, and editing. I have come to the point where I need to start reading the complements I recieve about my work more often and remember always that I am good. And remember that setting a price that I feel I am worth is acceptable.

There is going to come a point when both Ethan and Peyton are in school and I am going to need something to do. I want one of my full time jobs to be photography {the other blogging}. Now I have around three years till Peyton starts kindergarten, but I want to become more established before then. Because I have so much time to make my goal I am going to dive into this whole heartly, but not put alot of pressure onto myself. I love photography and I love how fun it is, and would hate for that to be taken away.

I have done something for myself I have never done before. I have set a three year plan out. My goal for this year to start a photography website. All those amazing clients I told you about were a big help in helping me build a portfolio and I love them all for giving up there time for me!

Now with all this said I will always remember the feeling of starting out and honestly not being sure if I was good enough to be a part of the photography world. One of the things that breaks my heart is when someone I used to look up to and admire, forgets that feeling and makes others feel little for starting out. I promise to always be happy for those who start their own business and enlist their friends to be models and either charge them peanuts or nothing at all to build a portfolio.  

 I completely understand that doing work for free is bad for the economy and the particular industry you are working in. So rather then putting out an ad for free work, enlist your friends and family to help you build your portfolio. Its doubtful that you would have charged them a lot to begin with and you won't be stepping on the toes of your peers. 

I really hope I didn't upset anyone, and have helped a few people have the confidence to have there ah ha moment come through the way I did when I read Jess' post.

Baby Steps

It has been a very long time since Peyton has done anything that has really wowwed me. For close to three months now she has been walking along the furniture and taking a half step inbetween objects, then she realizes what she is doing and drops to the floor. We are constantly watching her, not wanting to miss her first steps. We always have our camera charged and ready for when Peyton finally will make the move.

Peyton has always been somewhat of a lazy baby. When I was pregnant I always said I was going to go past my due date. She made my pregnancy so easy, she was to comfortable, I knew she wouldn't want to leave. Sure enough she was two days late. I know thats not a huge amount of time to be over due, but lets face it at that point being one hour over due will make you furusterated that you are still pregnant.

We get told all the time that she will walk when she wants to. And to be thankful shes not walking because we will wish that she wasn't once she gets faster. I understand what all those people are trying to tell us. But she is nineteen months now and we really want her to walk. We love seeing all the little babies bumbling around and it makes us pretty sad that Peyton just doesn't want to do that. She gets mad that she can't keep up with Ethan or the other babies, yet she needs some other form of motivation to give her that confidence she needs. We know that if she didn't think about it, she would be walking around lots by now.

So this is my bloggy plee that I am not going to think about it as much, or let myself get disappointed when I think that this could be it, only to see she drops to her knees to crawl once again. Our hope is that she will walk soon though so we get to see her bumble around while she is still a baby, and not so much a toddler.

Jason's birthday is on friday so if y'all could send walking wishes our way, that Peyton will give that to Jason as a gift that would be great!

Since I don't have any photos of Peyton walk, and I have not put many baby Ethan photos up, here is a photo of around the time Ethan started walking. He was about 15 months old.

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Time To Party

We had two birthday parties this weekend. It went a lot smoother then I thought it would. I was expecting grumpy children from missing naps and out of sorts babies from leaving our daily routine. But it really was a lot of fun at both parties.

The first party was for Alyssa, her Mama blogs over at Life, Experience Needed

For this particular party Peyton decieded that not napping at all before going was what she wanted to do. We tried three seperate times to get her to nap and all she did was laugh or whine from her crib. Knowing that she would be tired and a little cranky we went anyways.

Thankfully she was only a little whiny and didn't have a full on melt down cry like she normally would have done.

Food seemed to keep that at bay for us, and when the cupcakes came out we finally got to see a happy goofy Peyton. Just in time for us to go home. That's always the case isn't it?

One of Ethan and Peyton's many unoffical Aunties!

The birthday girl, who is about seven months younger then Peyton and walking! That post is for tomorrow about how I have given up on my baby walking haha

Yesterday was party number two, for one of Ethan's friends. This party started at 10 am so we knew ahead of time there would be no time for a nap. Which we didn't mind because at the time we said its just one day. But having missed her naps the day before we were nervous which Peyton would we be seeing at the party that day?

We somehow got super lucky and got happy Peyton! It must have been all the colourful lights from the games and just everything in general about the party venue that made her forget that she was tired.

And just incase you are wondering Ethan was infact at these parties even though I am not really writing about him. My little guy was very good and was in a good way a typical four year old at a birthday party.

Thought she might walk....nope

Waiting for the food.

Peyton's bottle buddy and yet another baby who is much younger then Peyton and walking.

Are you starting to notice that this fact is a bit of a sore spot for Jason and I.

I thought I should add a photo or two of Ethan. In all honesty he was so busy playing I couldn't get a photo of him really.

Hope everyone had a great weekend like we did!

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Be Warned This is A Sleep Deprived Post

This little guy is my best friend. He's four {almost five} and he is a constant in my life. When I get the feeling like everything around me is going crazy. I know that Ethan will still be there making a goofy face and believing that all the leafs are magical because they change color. Now who wouldn't want a best friend like that?

Ethan is a constant reminder that there are more important things in life, then little trivial things that have a tendency to upset me. The past couple of weeks have been tough, I have been losing a lot of sleep over the things that are going on. Its been hard for me to focus and function the way I normally can. Waking up and feeling the urge to just cry over furusteration in not knowing what I did wrong, for these situations to come to be.

Crying helped a lot. It doesn't take much for me to cry, a cry alot, but I always feel more calmer after. Last night however was one of those can't breath type of crying situations.

I am not quite ready to go to much into whats going on in full detail, but basically I have been feeling like I did something to a friend that is making them be very distant from me. And the hard part is, I have no clue what I said or did to let this happen. No major event or fight happened. Its just a vibe I was picking up on, that has now made it really uncomfortable for me to ask if I did do something. I have always believed that in situations like this its always 50/50 in who is causing the problem.

Last night however Jason assured me that as far as he knew I did nothing wrong, and that I was doing the right thing by leaving that friend alone and giving them the space they needed from me. He also reminded me that in the end I still have Ethan. He didn't mention Peyton because she and I don't have quite the same bond that Ethan and I have. At least not yet, she is still only 18 months haha.

I realize I can't depend on Ethan to be my bestie forever and I will eventually have to find the courage to ask what I did wrong to my friend. But for now I am happy to be besties with this little guy, and be happy with the fact that the world isn't ending, and if I choose to I can try and solve the problem, or just live and be happy with all the fun memories I shared with that person in the past.

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I'll Trade You Two Chickens For That Handbag

I am joining in Stuff I Love's blog clothing swap. As you can imagine I have a lot of clothes! When I saw Cat first talking about this I started going through my closet right away. Now I didn't have the time to press everything, but anything you swap with me will be pressed before I send it out to you.

All my items have been taken very good care of and are clean.

I hope you find something you like and feel you can make a swap with me!

Here's whats up for swap.

Forever 21 Fushia dress

Size is XS, I was given this as gift, and as sweet as the gift giver was it was way to small for me. It was second hand from my friend and she said she wore it twice.

B.SMART Dress from Bryans

This dress is a size 8. Jason bought it for me, but it was one of those dresses that I never found the confidence to wear. It is a very body hugging dress, and while I appreciate that Jason thought I would look great in it. This dress just was not really my style.

JOE {Superstore clothing line} Skirt

Floral silk skirt that I wore about 10 times for one summer. It has been sitting in my drawer for about 2 years now. Its a size 10 and has become just a little to big for me. I love the print on this and do wish it still fit better.

Cotton Kenzie Girl Dress

I found this dress in a second hand shop. It is brand new and still has never been worn. I bought it while I was pregnant with Peyton and thought it would fit after I gave birth but it never did. The dress is a size small.

ECHO Attached Dress

My Aunt gave me this dress to add to the swap because my cousin wasn't a fan. Still has the tags on it, and this dress is a size xl

H&M Trend Zipper Dress

I am truely upset this does not fit! Jason found this for me on a solo thrift shop. But being a bit of a busty girl I cannot get the zipper part past my chest. The dress is a size 6, but if you have a large chest this dress is not for you. The zipper along the waist does detatch so you can wear just the top or just the skirt.

A.B.S. Dress

I bought this dress off of EDRESS ME about a year ago. I wore it maybe three times and have just outgrown the style of the dress. Its a fun summer dress and its light weightness won't overheat you. The dress is a Large.

JOE Linen Summer Dress

This is another dress I am a little sad to let go, it has just become a little to big for me and no longer looks good on me. The dress is a size 6 (a larger size 6)

Urban Behavior Gold Top

I wore this while pregnant with Peyton. The shape is still great and has not been stretched out. Its just another one of those tops that gets left in the drawer alot. It is a size small.

Wilfred Wool Dress

This is one of those dresses that doesn't really need a lot of explaining. I am ready to let her go for something new though! This dress is a size 5

ROMY wool long cardi

My mom bought this for me a couple of years. Its really warm and pretty but I have always felt that it belongs with someone taller then my 5'2'' stature. It maybe all in my head but I feel it makes me look shorter then I already am. This cardi is a size 6

Cotton Smart Set Dress

Even the smartest fashionista have impulse buys. I bought this thinking it looked great in the store, and without trying it on I took it home. I wore it a couple of times to justify my impulse but its not the dress for me. My favorite thing about the dress is the stripes and modern 1950's look it has to it.

And there you have it. My items that I have up for swap!

See something you like? You can email me at ambergioiasmith (at) hotmail (dot) com

Happy Swapping!!