Be Warned This is A Sleep Deprived Post

This little guy is my best friend. He's four {almost five} and he is a constant in my life. When I get the feeling like everything around me is going crazy. I know that Ethan will still be there making a goofy face and believing that all the leafs are magical because they change color. Now who wouldn't want a best friend like that?

Ethan is a constant reminder that there are more important things in life, then little trivial things that have a tendency to upset me. The past couple of weeks have been tough, I have been losing a lot of sleep over the things that are going on. Its been hard for me to focus and function the way I normally can. Waking up and feeling the urge to just cry over furusteration in not knowing what I did wrong, for these situations to come to be.

Crying helped a lot. It doesn't take much for me to cry, a cry alot, but I always feel more calmer after. Last night however was one of those can't breath type of crying situations.

I am not quite ready to go to much into whats going on in full detail, but basically I have been feeling like I did something to a friend that is making them be very distant from me. And the hard part is, I have no clue what I said or did to let this happen. No major event or fight happened. Its just a vibe I was picking up on, that has now made it really uncomfortable for me to ask if I did do something. I have always believed that in situations like this its always 50/50 in who is causing the problem.

Last night however Jason assured me that as far as he knew I did nothing wrong, and that I was doing the right thing by leaving that friend alone and giving them the space they needed from me. He also reminded me that in the end I still have Ethan. He didn't mention Peyton because she and I don't have quite the same bond that Ethan and I have. At least not yet, she is still only 18 months haha.

I realize I can't depend on Ethan to be my bestie forever and I will eventually have to find the courage to ask what I did wrong to my friend. But for now I am happy to be besties with this little guy, and be happy with the fact that the world isn't ending, and if I choose to I can try and solve the problem, or just live and be happy with all the fun memories I shared with that person in the past.

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Lena @ Mom2MemphisAndRuby said... [Reply]

I think mothers & sons have a very unique bond! Ethan is such a handsome little man, I can just imagine how clever & entertaining he is in real life!
I'm sorry things tough right now... no relationship is easy, but I'm happy you have Ethan to make you smile!!

jessi ♥ said... [Reply]

He is SO HANDSOME! Amazing pictures, by the way.

I'm your newest follower from the blog hop! Loving your blog, cute title and adorable pictures!