On Sunday I lost my first true best friend. While technically he was my Aunts horse. She let myself and my brother and cousins always tell people he was our horse as well. Tamerac was a true member of our family and involved in so many of our memories. I fell in love with Tamerac when I was just under four years old. The first time we met, was in an indoor arena. My aunt put me on top of him. I held on to part of his mane, while my Aunt led Tamerac around the arena. From then on I was hooked on him. When I wasn't up at my Aunts I was counting down the days till I could see him again, and constantly talking about her house and how I couldn't wait to see my horse again! I felt so pround to feed and brush him. I have always loved that my Aunt shared someone like him with me. Because otherwise I may have never ridden a horse ever! Well not nearly as often thats for sure.

Unless I knew you very well I used to be an extremely quiet and shy girl. I did a lot of my ''big thinking'' while riding. Tamerac was such a quiet and calm horse. On the occasions when I would just ride him up and down my Aunt's drive way or around her neighborhood, I could ride and relax a little and zone out a little to think clearly. I can connect so many of my decisions being made while riding him. After years and years of getting to know this comforting feeling I was able to mimic this feeling even if I wasn't around him. But of course the real thing was always better!

I thought a lot the last couple of days about what I wanted to say about Tamerac. And with the help of Jason saying it wasn't meladramatic I realized its because of him that I learned about love and connecting to someone else. And just how important it is to be on the same wave link in order for anything to work out.

He was so amazing! Tamerac did so much for me, I feel a little guilty that all I was able to do is love him back, and give him treats here and there. How is it possible to ever properly thank a creature like a horse for teaching you so much without ever saying a word.

Through everything any teenager and young adult goes through. Knowing Tamerac was the one thing that would not change. Has always comforted me. With the acception of this past July, I had been unable to see him for close to four years. I am so thankful I was able to make the time to see him one more time.

 There's a reason why horse lovers are so devoted. There's a reason why, as kids, every shirt we wear has a horse on it. There is nothing that can compare to the bond of a child and their horse, or in our (my brother and cousins) case, horses. From the time we were little kids, we turned to Tamerac, Calvin, and Pudge for happiness and stability. They were the most wonderful part of my childhood. They gave me so many wonderful experiences and oppertunites that helped me grow and learn how to do things, you might not think a horse would teach you. That's why I'm such an animal lover; they have never let me down.



Katie said... [Reply]

I'm so sorry for your loss....I can relate to everything you mentioned in this post. I buried myself in my horses manes MANY times throughout my life, my parents getting divorced, moving, fights with friends, boyfriends, etc. My first true love was Mandy (Miss Midnite Mandy), she taught me so much, not only how to ride but how to "be". Love, trust, respect, gratitude, and how to listen. And finally, when she moved on, how to grieve. I feel blessed that I was able to have her in my life for so long. And whenever I'm in the barn I wish she were there with me. She was a once in a lifetime mare and i will NEVER forget her, or what she taught me about life.
I hope thinking about Tamerac brings you peace, and that looking at his pictures makes you smile. You two look totally at ease and happy in those pictures, the exact feeling a horse should give his rider and buddy.