How A Photo Can Change Everything In An Instant

With the acception of a very few people, very little know what has been actually going on with my husband and I. Our summer was a very hard one. While the situation had more to do with how I was feeling then my husband, it was still extremely hard on both of us. Progressing forward to get better was hard because a majority of the time I felt so guilty for stressing my husband out. He is wonderful and amazing and certainly didn't deserve this. But after trying to sort through what I was going through on my own for years, it was starting to show up in our relationship whether I liked it or not. After I finally got the courage to tell my husband absoultly everything, he told me that he had pretty much already knew that and sensed something was not right all this time. After a very confusing summer we came close to things ending once or twice, but are not giving up and still working at things. The last few days we have made huge progress and are finally feeling happy and best of all clear of our emotions. We still have a lot to work through but I think we will still have our happy ending together!

We love Ethan and Peyton more then anything in the world. But did they change us? Absolutly! We could not imagine life without them, but at the same time we do miss the days when it was just us two. Jason and I did everything in hyperspeed and backwards. And through no fault of our own we never thought of the reactions to our choices. Things were a lot harder then we both ever thought they would be. We both gave up on dreams and both struggled to get over them. For now we are feeling alright with our new dream and the life we have today. We are taking baby steps and making small goals at a time to get back to the easiness and bliss we once had.

Why am I sharing this some of you might be asking? I am sharing because keeping this a secret was affecting me. I felt like a fraud potraying a happy girl with a ''perfect'' marrige. But thats not true. And after opening up completely to a few of my friends I felt so much lighter and relaxed. And while I realize a blog is just a blog and I am able to choose what I share. This is also a version of therapy for me. Not hiding something is HUGE for me. While I am not great at hiding things, it can take a lot for me to admit when something is bothering me.

Thank you so much for all the love and support everyone has given me, I hope you will all still continue to follow me, even if I focus a little more on my family and a tiny bit less on blogging.

While taking these photos yesterday it was then I knew we would overcome everything and it will work out for the better!

Thank you for reading this, it was not easy to write, and again I hope you won't be upset with me for posting something like this and will stick around to see how it all will get better!

xoxo Amber

My Free Portrait

A while ago I saw that Chelsea sent away for a My Free Crappy Portrait. I will admit I found the title of the post to be a little odd, but once I saw what it actually was I thought it was funny! So I sent away for my own! 

Heres what I wrote about the three of us to help them ''capture'' us!

My name is Amber, I own way to many dresses. I have thick bangs that take up 50% of my face. My son Ethan is four and one of the pickiest eaters you will ever come across. He doesn't eat anything except peanut butter and nutella sandwiches. Peyton is one, and is the oppisate of Ethan in everyway. She LOVES food and would eat all day until she exploded, and then probably eat some more. She also likes to wear bows in her hair.

Can't wait to see the drawing!


Don't forget that the My Memories Suite Giveaway ends tonight! You can enter here!

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Yoga Pants, Comfy Or Unispired?

Recently a report was done, and the city I live in was voted one of the worst dressed cities in North America. You all know how big of a fan I am for fashion. So hearing this did sting a little. The biggest choice of garments where I live is people wearing yoga pants. And not just to yoga class. Women are wearing them everywhere! I will admit on occasion I have worn my yoga pants out, but honestly I refuse to do that more then once every 2 weeks. Even when I was pregnant I still held true to this. I bought cute leggings and long tops and dresses. So there are no excuses for not putting any effort in to your look! So here is my plea to all you repeat offenders! Put away the yoga pants and swap them for leggings. Or at the very, very least opt for the yoga pants that are shaped like leggings. All us girly girls are tired of your strange looks because we are ''dressed'' up. I love, love, love dressing up everyday. I am my own lifesize doll. The other day I wore a top with a seqine bow from JOE, a layered skirt with different laces, leggings, and flat ankle boots. Pretty simple, basic black and navy outfit, the looks I was getting today while out on our walk, I kept thinking I had something on my face, or even worse, I asked Ethan if I had a ''bat'' in my cave a.k.a. nose. When I got home I asked Jason if I looked funny, and he said for where we live yes!

While I am not 100% certain of this concept, but if we start dressing better as a city we will have more and more retail options want to come to our city!

As a final plea to stop the over wearing of yoga pants I have enlisted Peyton to help!

Leggings and cute tops, all smiles!

The right kind of dress can be just as comfortable!

Time to pack away those ''workout'' pants and move on to better fashions!

Leaving that bad taste behind!

If you absoultly must wear yoga pants, find some with some piazz!

Just incase the photos above didn't convince you, do you really want to make this little one cry?

P.S. Peyton is way, way better at the plank then I am.

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Photoshoot Friday - Geek Chic With Carly Ingram Photography

So if you follow me on twitter or my personal blog you already know how excited I was to model for my friend Carly. I loved working having fun with Carly. She gets so excited about every single shot, just like I do! I have always been a fan of Carly's photos, and seeing her start her own photography busisness definately helped motivate me to want to start my own as well.

We went with a Geek Chic Theme, and decided to risk getting in trouble and headed to our cities historic public library. We were asked to leave after a little while, but by then we had already taken 100's of photos! So it wasn't a huge upset. After that we borrowed some books and found this interesting building, with a fountain, stairs, and a grassy area. It was so perfect and exciting to find all three in one spot!

Showing off my necklace I made!

Want to see more of Carly's work? You can follow her blog Anchors Away or like her Facebook 

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{ Guest Post } Lena from Mom2MemphisAndRuby

I have have asked the gorgeus Lena, from Mom 2 Memphis and Ruby to guest post for me today. I love her blog! Her blog is one of the newer blogs that I have been reading latley, but it has become a daily read for me. Make sure you check out her blog and leave some love!

Hi! I'm Lena, mom of 2 crazy kids living in a small town in Quebec, Canada.
I blog over at Mom2MemphisAndRuby.
I blog about a lot of different things... Mostly my life, my kids and fashion. I also host as many giveaways as I can (fun!!), and I take a ton of pictures.
{insert shameless plug here: I will be hosting a fun giveaway when I reach 200 followers, here's a sneak peak!}

I am so happy Amber asked me to guest host - it's my first time and her blog is so awesome... it's very nerve-wracking! lol

I thought & thought & thought about what I could possibly talk about... and then I thought why not talk about the importance of "me time."
Or the lack thereof, in my case.

You see, Memphis made me a mommy almost 6 years ago... and I've loved every minute of it... BUT I could probably count on two hands the amount of real "me time" I've had in the past 6 years. Aside from an occasional Zumba class, or a dinner out with friends or a very random date night with the hubs... I don't do a whole lot WITHOUT my kids.

A lot of people point this out.

Which, to be honest, really annoys me.

I did my share of "partying" in my late teens & early twenties, so when we decided to try for a baby I was totally READY to give that up. I'm more of a homebody anyway. I prefer to be alone, or at least with just a few close friends. I love blogging (duh!), reading, watching TV, renting a good movie, or getting stuff done around the house (like laundry, or re-arranging the furniture, or going through the closets/cupboards)... and this is what I consider "me time" now. Because when I'm not blogging, reading, watching TV or getting stuff done around the house, I'm at work OR, most importantly, enjoying quality time with my kids. I know they won't always be so open to cuddling with their mom, or hanging out with me so I think I want to be a little selfish with my time right now. They deserve to have me around as much as I can be there. These years of them thinking I'm the "greatest thing" aren't going to last forever... although they do think I'm pretty nifty right now, and I like that!!

If they want to tag along when I run a few errands... or if I have to turn down a night out with friends because I've had a long week and I just want some quiet time at home, I don't think I should have to justify that. Am I right? I think the point I'm trying to make is... as moms, we all have our limits. Some of us need more "me time" and some of us do okay without it. Whichever category you fit in is just fine. It's your life, and it's important as women to have that time when we know we need a break. For me, this usually means a couple hours out getting my hair done, or maybe going out for dinner & a movie with a friend or the hubs. I only need a few good hours here & there to recharge and be ready to get back into mommy-mode.

I just wish people wouldn't seem so sad for me. I don't need to go out all the time to be happy.
Being with my kids while they're young & discovering new things is what makes me the happiest right now... When they're not with me, I'm wondering what they're up to! I love being able to kiss them goodnight, and be the first one they see when they get up in the mornings!!

In a few years, they'll be hanging out with their friends a lot more and I'll be left to fend for myself!
{What will I do then!? }
Until then.... you can find me at home, with my babies. ;)

Thanks again, Amber, for inviting me over! Hope you'll take a peak at my blog and don't be shy... I love making new bloggy friends!!


On Sunday I lost my first true best friend. While technically he was my Aunts horse. She let myself and my brother and cousins always tell people he was our horse as well. Tamerac was a true member of our family and involved in so many of our memories. I fell in love with Tamerac when I was just under four years old. The first time we met, was in an indoor arena. My aunt put me on top of him. I held on to part of his mane, while my Aunt led Tamerac around the arena. From then on I was hooked on him. When I wasn't up at my Aunts I was counting down the days till I could see him again, and constantly talking about her house and how I couldn't wait to see my horse again! I felt so pround to feed and brush him. I have always loved that my Aunt shared someone like him with me. Because otherwise I may have never ridden a horse ever! Well not nearly as often thats for sure.

Unless I knew you very well I used to be an extremely quiet and shy girl. I did a lot of my ''big thinking'' while riding. Tamerac was such a quiet and calm horse. On the occasions when I would just ride him up and down my Aunt's drive way or around her neighborhood, I could ride and relax a little and zone out a little to think clearly. I can connect so many of my decisions being made while riding him. After years and years of getting to know this comforting feeling I was able to mimic this feeling even if I wasn't around him. But of course the real thing was always better!

I thought a lot the last couple of days about what I wanted to say about Tamerac. And with the help of Jason saying it wasn't meladramatic I realized its because of him that I learned about love and connecting to someone else. And just how important it is to be on the same wave link in order for anything to work out.

He was so amazing! Tamerac did so much for me, I feel a little guilty that all I was able to do is love him back, and give him treats here and there. How is it possible to ever properly thank a creature like a horse for teaching you so much without ever saying a word.

Through everything any teenager and young adult goes through. Knowing Tamerac was the one thing that would not change. Has always comforted me. With the acception of this past July, I had been unable to see him for close to four years. I am so thankful I was able to make the time to see him one more time.

 There's a reason why horse lovers are so devoted. There's a reason why, as kids, every shirt we wear has a horse on it. There is nothing that can compare to the bond of a child and their horse, or in our (my brother and cousins) case, horses. From the time we were little kids, we turned to Tamerac, Calvin, and Pudge for happiness and stability. They were the most wonderful part of my childhood. They gave me so many wonderful experiences and oppertunites that helped me grow and learn how to do things, you might not think a horse would teach you. That's why I'm such an animal lover; they have never let me down.


National Read A Book Day and Top Ten Books!

Today is national read a book day. I have chosen today to teach Ethan to read. This is something we have struggled with greatly. Ethan is very smart but in the past I find that he need an unconventional way of learning things, a way that I am not very familiular with. Jason thinks the same way as Ethan so its easier for him, but Jason is so busy so for the most part the teaching of ABC, 123, and reading falls to me.
When it comes to Ethan learning to do new things it is bitter sweet. I am of course excited that it one less thing he needs me to always do for him, in turn giving me 30 more seconds a day or so to myself. But I am also upset for the same reason, and I always break into tears at a new development. The day I saw that Ethan could pour his own glass of milk, I suddenly had a flash back of all the times he would toddle over to me with his cup in hand asking for some juice. Yes I broke into tears over this.  

He is so smart, and has always been a very intellectual little guy. He was never one to play with toys, instead he was one of the those babies that would sit and try and figure out how the toy worked.

With the exception of being mobile { because he was to rolley polley to move } he has always been a little ahead when it comes to understanding concepts of things that other children his age might not even worry about. At two and a half Ethan would constantly tell us about how recycling works, why its good, why its bad if we don't recycle. I say that he would tell us, because we didn't tell him, yes we are a family that recycles anything we can, but we never explained to him why we do it or how it helps the planet. But it didn't matter because he figured it out on his own.

His hyper growth development is exciting to be around but also sad that my little guy is growing way to fast.

We do struggle to teach Ethan a few things like the ABC's and reading, but seeing as today is National read a book day my goal for the day is to teach Ethan to read!

A book he can read to Peyton

I do have this book but not the vintage cover like this!

Our books of choice! I am linking up again with Miss Mommy for her tuesday ten!

Miss Mommy